Laws of Relationship: The Law of Reciprocity

Relationships, like so many other things in life, are run by natural laws.  Today’s law which is the law of reciprocity is very interesting.  Reciprocity is the inclination that one feels to repay an act or deed in a like manner. If someone is treated badly, that person is tempted to repay that bad deed with a bad attitude or behavior.  Let’s say that one day you are short of money but you have an urgent bill to pay.  You have no idea how you will get it paid, but, much to your relief, someone pays the entire bill for you.  It is likely that if that person at some time later, asks you for a lift in your car to go to a destination that may be off your route, you would likely be willing to oblige the request.  You will be reciprocating the person’s original good act towards you. That’s how this law of reciprocity works.

This law also operates in the reverse.  If someone treats you badly, you may hold thoughts of resentment and be tempted to repay evil for evil. Good begets good, evil begets evil. 

In relationships, this law operates and works for or against you. Speak to your spouse harshly or in loud tones, and elicit a matching response.   The good book says a soft answer turns away anger.  That is so true. Speak softly and tenderly to your spouse and you increase your chances of getting the same returned to you. Whatever you wish to receive, give it first.

I am strongly suggesting that you make it a lifestyle attitude to only “serve what you can eat.”  Spend quality time with your spouse, speak kind words, send positive vibes and signal happy moods.  The law of reciprocity will work in your stead. 

Who should begin the cycle of reciprocity? You of course.  Do not wait on the other person to do it.  Make it your personal development goal to do good.  You have nothing to lose.  Of course, there are some who will make every excuse and will provide a myriad of reasons why they need to teach their spouse a lesson, or complain “why can’t he/she treat me good first. Why must I do it?” Well, my answer to that is, “I have never met a couple who boasts of happiness by practicing ill-treatment or holding back good treatment.   The wiser of the two should begin the good treatment of the other. 

Relationships go through turbulence and war because couples breach this basic law of reciprocity.

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