Character Before Charisma

Character Before Charisma

It is natural for individuals to be drawn toward attractive persons.  People consciously or unconsciously use looks as one of their main deciders when entering a relationship.  Is this working for successful relationships?  I suggest to you, it is not.  I propose that the character of the person by far outweighs the value gained by the good looks of a spouse.

The marketing of products and equipment to develop and maintain good looks is a billion-dollar industry.  It is easy to mistakenly conclude that good-looking persons are generally honest or nice people in general.  That is not to say that good-looking people are not.  It is the irrational concept that their looks indicate character. 

There are generally three areas of misconception that some persons hold when it comes to choosing a life partner.  Besides some erroneously thinking that “good looks” is it, choosing a partner who has resources such as money or property makes some conclude that they landed into a life of happiness with a spouse.  Yet, others think that charm, popularity and general charisma make a person a wonderful choice for a partner. 

Consider this, when such relationships break up, it often breaks up with the person still being good-looking, they most times still possess wealth and material worth and they certainly remain charming to others.

So what makes relationships last long and produce happiness? 

I strongly suggest that character should be the primary selection factor in a relationship.  Reputation is what people say about you.  Character is who you are when no one is watching.  It is the real person.  Character last longer than reputation.  Character is constant. That’s why the letters of the alphabet are called characters, B remains B always in any word.  Some people’s reputations change depending on the crowd they are around; one reputation for church, another for social friends, and yet another reputation at home.

If people go into relationships because of good looks, charm, and wealth, they often do not leave because of those. They leave because of character issues. The person, lied, cheated, was dishonest or selfish. These are all character traits.  Should not a person, therefore, go into relationships because of character instead of the superficial aspects people crave after? I certainly think so.

When you are in a relationship with someone who honours their own word, is trustworthy, selfless, speaks the truth in all situations, lives an open transparent life, you have the makings of a successful relationship with great possibility for longevity and happiness. Always choose character before charisma.

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