Junk in the Trunk

Have you ever seen a slick vehicle with an attractive paint job, good tires, clean and expensive interior but when you go to the trunk it is full of discarded stuff, used parts and just plain junk? It was hard to tell from the exterior. Or maybe you have your house and the living room smells good, clean furniture but when you lift the mat or rug below it is full of dust, dirt and grime?
You often meet people who are in similar situations. From their exterior when you meet them you cannot detect what lies deep down inside them. You judge them by the stylish clothes they wear, the expensive car they drive and the well-paying job that they hold down.
Do not be too hasty to get into relationships with people. Be acquaintances, then be friends before you become their partner. It is hard to tell what is underneath the façade and pretense. The old people used to say, “See me and come to live with me is two different things.”
It is easy to get carried away with the cover of the book. If you don’t look over the inside you could end up with a very boring book. Take time to know the person with whom you are considering getting into a relationship. What you see may not be what you get. Someone who does not look the part may indeed be a better option when you get to know them.
We are so visual that people judge others based on so many external factors. A man looking for a good woman looks at her body or some other physical characteristics in order to determine whether they like that person or not. A girl looks at a boy and he has to match up to this imaginary male she has in her head in order for her to even give him a second look. These are limited view-points to determine the compatibility or not in relationships.
Physical beauty in women and good looks in men change with the passing of years; a woman, after bearing children often would not carry the gorgeous figure she once had and as she ages her skin sags and her face wrinkles. In men, midlife brings the bulge and slow waste of muscle mass. He has to work harder to keep in shape than when he was a boy. What do you do when the physical things you were attracted to, suddenly disappear?
If the relationship existed because of possessions such as a big house, luxury cars or a job that carried status in society, then if/when any of these is taken away, the relationship goes into crisis.

Some people, therefore, dangle their bodies and possessions in order to capture a lover. You really have no idea whether that person is genuinely in love with you, your body or your toys. Many people defined themselves by what they own or possess. The Bible says that a man’s life does not consist of the things he possesses.
If however, you put the emphasis on who you really are as a person, then you have the making of a lasting relationship. Your belief and thoughts better define you and they last for an infinitely longer time than temporary things.
There are people with junk in their trunks but they appear fine on the outside. They may be possessive and abusive but they do not portray that image when you just meet them. In fact, abusive persons are often extremely nice in the beginning but tyrants in the long run. Take time to look in the trunk. Do not underestimate the importance of getting to know people first before you get into them. You will save yourself so much regret. Ask those who move from one relationship after the next. It is likely that they go into the relationship first then after get to know the person. Big mistake!! If the person is a friend before then you can find out much of the junk they are carrying in time to prevent your friendship from going further. You at least will be left with a friend. If you go into the relationship and then find out how much junk the person has, you may not have a friend after the hurt.

For private counselling email michaelatstewarttlc@gmail.com or go to my website to make an appointment at www.michaelatstewart.com or call 868-635-1801

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